Lets Giggle! =))
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quote MaddieTJ:Balding Guys wife: I will file for a divorce if your hair keeps on falling and you become bald.Husband: 🙁 why didnt you temme earlier? goes and plucks all his remaining hair 😀 😀 😀
:)) :)) :)) :))
There is only one difference between a madman and me. I am not mad.
ENGLISH IS A FUNNY LANGUAGE
There is no egg in eggplant nor ham in hamburger,
neither apple nor pine in pineapple
English muffins were not invented in England
or French fries in France.
Sweetmeats are candies, while sweetbreads,
which aren’t sweet, are meat
Quicksand can work slowly, boxing rings are square,
a guinea pig is neither from Guinea nor is it a pig
Why is that writers write, but fingers don’t fing,
grocer don’t groce, hammers don’t ham
If the plural of tooth is teeth,
Why isn’t the plural of booth beeth?
One goose, 2 geese, so one moose, 2 meese?
One index, two indices?
Is cheese the plural of choose?
If teachers taught, why didn’t preachers praught?
If a vegatarian eats vegetables, what does a humanitarian eat?
Ship by truck, and send cargo by ship?
Have noses that run and feet that smell
Park on driveways and drive on parkways?
How can a slim chance and fat chance be the same,
while a wise man and a wise guy be opposites?
When a house burns up, it burns down
You fill in a form by filling it out
An alarm clock goes off by going on
When the stars are out, they are visible
but when the lights are out, they are invisible
When I wind up my watch, I start it
But when I wind up this essay, I end it.WHY WHY WHY ? ? ?
Why do we park on driveways, drive on parkways, drive over underpasses, drive under overpasses, pay toll to drive on freeways.
Is it good if a vacuum really sucks?
Why is the third hand on the watch called the second hand?
If a word is misspelled in the dictionary, how would we ever know?
If Webster wrote the first dictionary, where did he find the words?
Why do we say something is out of whack? What is a whack?
Why does “slow down” and “slow up” mean the same thing?
Why does “fat chance” and “slim chance” mean the same thing?
Why do “tug” boats push their barges?
Why are they called “stands” when they are made for sitting?
Why is it called “after dark” when it really is “after light”?
Doesn’t “expecting the unexpected” make the unexpected expected?
Why are a “wise man” and a “wise guy” opposites?
Why do “overlook” and “oversee” mean opposite things?
Why is “phonics” not spelled the way it sounds?
Why do we put suits in garment bags and garments in a suitcase?
How come abbreviated is such a long word?
Why do they call it a TV set when you only have one?HEY, its not me! just copy paste!
The Boss
One day a man goes to a pet shop to buy a parrot. The assistant takes the man to the parrot section and asks the man to choose one. The man asks, ”How much is the yellow one?”
The assistant says, ”$2000.” The man is shocked and asks the assistant why it’s so expensive. The assistant explains, ”This parrot is a very special one. He knows typewriting and can type really fast.”
”What about the green one?” the man asks.
The assistant says, ”He costs $5000 because he knows typewriting and can answer incoming telephone calls and takes notes.”
”What about the red one?” the man asks.
The assistant says, ”That one’s $10,000.”
The man says, ”What does HE do?”
The assistant says, ”I don’t know, but the other two call him boss.”
🙂
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=)) =)) =)) you guys are CRAZY!!!!!! :)) :)) :)) :))
quote mustafah:🙂:)) :)) :)) :)) :)) :))
A three year old walked over to a pregnant lady while waiting with his mother in the doctors office.
He inquisitively ask the lady, “Why is your stomach so big?”
She replied, “I’m having a baby.”
With big eyes, he asked, “Is the baby in your stomach?”
She said, “He sure is.”
Then the little boy, with a puzzled look, asked, “Is it a good baby?”
She said, “Oh, yes. It’s a real good baby.”
With an even more surprised and shocked look, he asked…
“Then why did you eat him?”
😀 😀 😀 😀 :)) :)) :)) :)) =))
Nice for the monkey hhhhhhhh
Lets Giggle! =))
Doctor Dubey had sex with one of his patients and felt guilty all day long. No matter how much he tried to forget about it, he just couldn’t. The guilt and sense of betrayal was overwhelming. But every once in a while he’d hear an internal, reassuring voice in his head that said:
“Dubey, don’t worry about it. You aren’t the first medical practitioner to sleep with one of their patients, and you won’t be the last. And you’re single. Just let it go, Dubey.”
But invariably another voice in his head would bring him back to reality, whispering:
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Dubey…..
Dubey…..
Dubey, भोंसड़ी के
You’re a veterinary doctor” 🙂 🙂 🙂
You probably know I’m a teacher. I used to work with this girl who was cross eyed. She got the sack. I asked her why. She said it was because she couldn’t control her pupils.
True story.
A man asks a farmer near a field, “Sorry sir, would you mind if I crossed your field instead of going around it? You see, I have to catch the 4:23 train.”
The farmer says, “Sure, go right ahead. And if my bull sees you, you’ll even catch the 4:11 one.”
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